delta males

Normally, I don't pay that much attention to other people at the gym. I'm often too busy doing my own thing to really care about anyone else. The times I do notice other people are when they make themselves so conspicuous in some way or other that you can't help but notice them. Sometimes it's some freak or other with some extreme choice of clothing or footwear (yeah, I know, my freaky fuschia Five Fingers). Or else you have freaks who choke you to death with their stench (perfume trolls anyone?). And of course you have the freaks (and some non-freaks) who bring attention upon themselves by how they are training, for better or worse. Usually worse – blatantly poor technique, making a big deal out of lifting very little, holding on to the guard rails while jogging on the treadmill, etc...

And then you have the delta males. You know, the gym freaks who bring about attention by everything I mentioned above and then some, the gym freaks who think they are alpha males but... well... aren't. You guys have read Brave New World, right? Yeah, delta. A whole package of fail...

The delta male of the day did everything he could possibly do to make sure that everyone noticed him. He spent a good amount of time prancing around, while “flexing” (hah!), in particular near me and near a pair of women training together. It was particularly annoying for me because I was doing squats at the time. He was walking a little too close for comfort behind me, while making grunting noises and “flexing” in front of the mirror as he walked by. This was very annoying and distracting. I could also smell him as he was approaching; his cologne was on that thick. And I could see that the other women were also very annoyed with his behavior...

The rest of his excessive attention-whoring primping and posing in front of the mirror was rather amusing, and I couldn't help but snicker at him. I think he was trying to show off his arms or try bodybuilding poses or something. I was, however, more fascinated by his extended belly. You couldn't help but notice it. Delta didn't have that big of a body otherwise. But his Ring of Fat... wow. The way his forearm and hand rested on his gut was reminiscent of photos of pregnant women. He was even rubbing his belly a lot, the way a pregnant woman rubs her belly. Oh, and at one point he even “adjusted” his developing moobs (I'll bet he thinks they're pecs). Charming. You have no idea how close I was to finding some way to approach the other women to ask them “so, when do you think he's due?” And I can't forget to mention the hair fixing haha... can't have a hair out of place, no can we?

Oh, and when Delta wasn't patting his big belly in front of the mirror, he was doing a “workout” that involved fluffing around here and there with the cable jungle and dumbbells. You knew when he was doing something, because of all the heavy breathing and grunting. With light weights of course, lots of rapid, jerky reps. WTF? At one point he grabbed some dumbbells and started doing biceps curls (like most delta males really enjoy doing), and was all huffy and puffy and grunting about it. Geez. So I walked up to the dumbbell stand, grabbed a set of 8 kg dumbbells, started doing dumbbell curls with them, scowled and mumbled out a “hmmmf,” and then replaced the 8 kg dumbbells with 10 kg dumbbells and did a set of 12 reps. While smirking. Delta gave me a dirty look, slammed his dumbbells down and stomped away. Twat.

Tell me about the delta males at your gym...