29.5.10

Eurovision 2010 - my comments

This post will be updated from time to time, as the show goes on and as I get more inebriated...

The previous post has links to the songs. This is just the commentary. I don't have any proper predictions as to who will win this year; a lot of it will depend on how the artists do tonight. Nothing really stands out. I do like Ireland, Israel, Greece, and Portugal, and I think France has a “fun” song. Denmark's song is also “fun.” But other than that... I dunno. Most of the songs really annoy me...

I don't want Norway to win again. Didrik has a great voice and all, but it's bloody expensive to host Eurovision. I will admit it has been fun seeing the Eurovision tourists out and about town. It's a shame I've been too busy with other shit to enjoy the Eurovision activities going on...

Anyway, the commentary:

1. Azerbaijan: I wish someone would drip drop something on her head... Anyway, she was very nervous, at least at the start. She was a bit stronger at the end, but... well... She'll get a lot of votes because she's young (17), pretty, and has a very commercial song...

2. Spain: Very stereotypical Spanish, sung in Spanish. But a bit too whiney for my liking, and I can't stand the clowns as background dancers...

NB! Spain will get a chance to perform again, as a fan jumped on stage as they were starting their performance! Not that it helped. You know when you go to Spain, and there are drunk guys on street corners and park benches singing? Yeah, that's what they sing...

3. Norway: Great voice, boring song. They were showing various interviews and comments from various people before Eurovision started, and someone referred to this song as a "Disney song." Yeah, that's a good way of putting it. Anyway, shaky start, and I think he could have done better, but otherwise somewhat improved English enunciation compared to when he won the contest for Norway...

4. Moldova: WTF is this supposed to be? I do like the singer chick's hair, makeup, and outfit though... had I been a drag queen!

5. Cyprus: *yawn* Too boyband pop-like...

6. Bosnia and Herzegovina: Disappointing. B&H has sent really good artists in past Eurovisions, including last year's. This is quite awful in comparison...

7. Belgium: Another nervous one, with an overly commercial song and even more overly whiney nasal annoying voice. He really should learn how to speak English before attempting to sing it too...

8. Serbia: A bit of that Hatten är din going, but this is otherwise a proper Eurovision song, with the right kind of beat (Balkan Balkan come on) and the right kind of performance. And Milan is... well... a little... um... Serbia did win with a lesbian artist before (in 2007), so why not try with a gay one? (Yeah, I'm just assuming.) :-P

9. Belarus: The only reason why this song is in the final, is because they got enough popular votes from Russia and other political neighbors for the semifinal. Null points...

10. Ireland: Very Irish. Pretty song. Very good performance, but will it be good enough? Bonus points for lack of starved body, overly bleached hair, and need to have boobs and ass hanging out...

11. Greece: Very energetic and masculine. It really brings out the man in me! Excellent performance too; you can tell he's a well seasoned artist. Very confident. This song will be the big summer hit in all the gay nightclubs in Europe and worldwide. Bonus points for the song being sung in Greek! The most "genuinely ethnic" so far...

12. United Kingdom: This does not sound good to me. Now I understand why the UK has to “buy” their guaranteed place in the final. They always suck...

13. Georgia: A bit off key at the start, which is too bad because she has a decent voice...

14. Turkey: OK, so they thought they could get away from their usual belly dancing music to something rock-like, but it's not anything outstanding. Boring text too. Lucky for Turkey that they can get lots of popular votes from immigrants in Germany, etc. Bonus points for the robot though...

15. Albania: Madonna wannabe? Or something... Horrible voice, horrible look, and nothing special about her song...

16. Iceland: Good, powerful voice, and a very energetic dance song. It's a bit weird watching this particular song be performed by an artist dressed in a long sleeved long dress suitable for performing sappy ballads though. It doesn't seem to fit...

17. Ukraine: Is she trying to sing like Björk? I don't get it...

18. France: This is more of a football song (whoa, it actually is a fan song for team France for the World Cup!) than a Eurovision song, but it has a nice beat. It will be one of *the* big summer hits this year... Anyway, what a hot performance! I'm going to have to take a cold shower after watching this...

19. Romania: And this was my cold shower...

20. Russia: And the shower just got colder... arrrrgh! And I can't even drink vodka to drown out the pain, which is probably what everyone else is doing...

21. Armenia: Ape-ree-cut stone? This song would have been good if it had been sung in Armenian, or whatever it is they speak there. The substandard English text ruins it all. It's also very Hatten är din...

22. Germany: Boring performance; she's a favorite so I was expecting much better. Yawn. The "woo" and giggle at the end was especially pathetic. The song is otherwise very German pop. It will be a Euro-hit, but it's otherwise nothing particularly special. Like most of the songs here, it will be completely forgotten within a few months, when the "next best thing" comes along...

23. Portugal: Hey Portugal! Disney called. They want their song back!

24. Israel: Nice ballad and performed quite well, but how does he fare in Krav Maga? ;-) Bonus points for singing in Hebrew...

25. Denmark: What a fun song... very Abba-esque... I love what the wind machine does to the male singer's hair haha... OMFSM his hair *snort'

1 comment:

Alan Ralph said...

Here in the UK, it's pretty much accepted that we don't have a snowball's chance in Hell of winning - and this in spite of the fact that the last two years entries were penned by Andrew Lloyd-Webber and Pete Waterman respectively. But of course we're all in denial about the songs and/or singers being crap - instead, we blame those wascally East Europeans for voting for each other. Funny that, I wonder who was voting us down before the East European entered the EU? ;)